Understanding

"First and foremost among these favors, which the Almighty hath conferred upon man, is the gift of understanding. His purpose in conferring such a gift is none other except to enable His creature to know and recognize the one true God -- exalted be His glory. This gift giveth man the power to discern the truth in all things, leadeth him to that which is right, and helpeth him to discover the secrets of creation." ~Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 193

it may be murky today but the forecast is bright

Recently, I came away from a meeting I had attended feeling confused and lost after all the matters discussed were summarised. I was grasping at the scraps that my memory had retained. Small pieces of what had been discussed and now required of me to formulate a plan for action. The appearance of understanding this morning has brought me back to that meeting. I did not take notes so that I could read over, ingest what was discussed and comprehend clearly, the important things. But I have a good memory and when I have understood something I remember it. It lodges into the deep recesses of my brain and remains there for me to grasp on to for future reference. I got to thinking about some of the elements that make some things more memorable than others. I remember someone of note stating that people often do not remember what you have said but they remember how it is you made them feel. I think parallel to this runs the idea that the motivation to understand also needs nurturing. What about that information was important? Was I interested? I was very interested in what was said at the meeting, I understood some parts of it but I find that I am the type of person who becomes disinterested when things move along an abstract line for too long. I need to be able to take my understanding of the theory and apply it to something in my life or visualise it in action, to be able to discern clarity for myself. I asked questions but the answers to what I asked did not help to allow a clearer picture to emerge. Oftentimes when I find myself in this situation I resort to self-incriminating thoughts; I am simply not smart enough, those in the meeting are so above my level, what good am I to this team and on and on. The quotation above assures me that these thoughts are absolutely untrue and that this gift dwells in all of us. Yet it is not something that falls upon us, we exercise a need and with effort, the truth is revealed. I want to understand and move the understanding of others forward. So I have decided to figure out a way to solve this. I contacted someone who was a participant in said meeting, and have asked them to meet with me so that we may reflect on what was said and perhaps, this more informal tete a tete, will help me to grasp what it was that eluded me yesterday. It is in this way I know that I will find a way to access the knowledge that descended in that meeting and find my own way to explore it and make it real and true in my life.