I have been striving to be more intentional about bringing myself to account each day. It is a practice that the prophet founder of the Baha'i Faith, Baha'u'llah, specifically sets out as a necessary step to take to continue to progress on this spiritual path. As I reflect, usually in the morning, on the events of the previous day, it is humbling to consider what I have said, the manner in which I said it and my overall behaviour. I often find myself considering something I gave no thought to at the time, but in the quiet and stillness of the morning, wonder if I injured someone with my words or actions. The appearance of truthfulness causes me to ponder about being truthful to ones' self. My brain may choose to look at the incident and shrug it off feeling that I was simply stating my point of view emphatically, heedless of the effect that my words may have had on the other person. In my exuberance, I can at times get very excited about a point, especially when I feel that I am right, I run roughshod over someone's delicate heart. In doing this exercise through the lens of truthfulness, I see that I may venture to be more considerate of others, temper my excitement and passion with tact and listen a little more. I am in many spaces where I am tutoring a study group and quite frankly, I talk too much not allowing the other participants to go through their own process of understanding. As I learn to be more effective in this role, I see how in order to allow their own learning to flourish and grow, I may ask more questions, allow for periods of silence to permeate the zoom space and appreciate that this is all a part of the ultimate exercise. When I talk my way through it, sharing my own thoughts, I am depriving the participants of the opportunity to build their own capacities. I must also not be too hard on myself as this is a learning curve for me also. The beauty about bringing myself to account is that it is not an activity to produce guilt and shame. On recognising that I spoke too much yesterday in the study space, I will now restrain my speech next time by preparing questions ahead of time so I have the points to cover. I can be truthful and recognise that I did not take the time to prepare. I believe this will allow more space for the participants to consider their thoughts and share them. In curtailing my speech I lessen any possibility of hurting another soul. In taking the time to look over the material that I expect we will cover, I may formulate these questions, think about matters that may come up and the best way to explore them. It is therefore an exercise in being better than I was yesterday. It is empowering as I have constructed my own next stage of development to which I may aspire in the future.
As one who has been in groups with you I have to say that your speech is always well thought out and tempered in both tone and quantity. You've conquered this one, Oonagh. Hugs.