I am speaking at a gathering tonight on the topic of race unity. There was a run-through with the organisers yesterday and I was introduced to another speaker who will also be presenting. As we set about sharing a little about ourselves, I was blinded by his accomplishments, breadth of knowledge, eloquence and experience. Immediately those old prejudices surfaced. I begin to shrink inward believing myself unworthy to share the virtual stage with someone with information of such value and significance. I have been working on noticing this tendency toward shrinking - collapsing in on myself and not sharing who I am fully and openly, holding back believing myself not to be relevant. This is a recurring theme for me and no doubt if you have been reading these musings for a while, you will discern an indelible pattern. When I was called upon to share who I was, the thought came to lead with my academic achievements and training, but that just did not feel right. I resisted the pull of those emotions that were hijacking me. I shared about places where I had lived and how that had shaped my view of world. I remained in my integrity, and clinging to the essence of my worth. It was probably also fortuitous that I had another meeting to attend so could not remain with the group long. Tolerance is timely in its appearance this morning as I see that I may strengthen my abilities to refrain from judging myself and others. The recovery yesterday was encouraging and it would serve me well to approach the talk this evening with a similar mindset. The world is full of all sorts of people, is big enough to accommodate all and unity among us is unstoppable by any force. Appreciating the variety we all offer makes life richer for everyone.
It's a constant struggle, isn't it? Me, too.