Strength

the wonder of growth

I had an inkling of what strength feels like yesterday as I was going about my day. It was quiet confidence that I could tackle all the tasks I had set myself, that my words were so abundant that I could articulate eloquently what needed to be said and I had energy enough to do more. I am grateful for days like the one I had yesterday. I am aware that were it not for the days when getting out of bed seems to take such effort, words fail me and I do not seem to have the energy to do much of anything, are the days when I am nurturing my strength and it is growing. These are the times when I need to dig deep to access that reservoir of power to endure the tests. I feel weak and hopeless, but it makes the experience of days like yesterday ever sweeter. I am learning to look at those days, when tests seem overwhelming, with gratitude. It is tough practice for me as I want to leave those "bad" days behind and forget about the feelings of shame and sadness. The truth is that without them, I would not have made it to today. Those are the days that my character experienced a growth spurt and success was achieved. As I learn to modify my frame of reference and accept that suffering is an ever present part of my life, I can approach these hard tests without wanting to fight and struggle. I can choose gentleness and patience. I know now that without suffering there can be no strength. Test are the environment that strength requires to blossom.