I was reflecting yesterday to a friend as to how my day had been. Nothing special or extraordinary had occurred but I was feeling strangely peaceful and calm. I write "strangely" because I realised I believed that this sense of stillness and contentment ought to be the aftermath of a win or an achievement, something that merits acknowledgment or praise and then the aftermath of the excitement would be this wonderful calm space. This charaterisation was simply not true. If I am open and honest, after such events there is no calm but a restlessness that has me searching for the next win or even dissecting and detracting from the achievement. I am pleasantly puzzled that this new state of serenity comes upon me at this time, what could it possibly mean? It discloses to me that contentment with one's self and life need not follow something big but is accessible at anytime if I am willing to believe it. I take a short time out, most days, to list things for which I am grateful, praising God for this life that I have been bestowed. I do not often sit deep and get comfortable, down into the centre of the feelings, but it is within the depths of this exercise perhaps, where serenity lives and thrives. The world continues to be topsy turvy with the renewed attention and reliving of the painful emotions that visited us when George Floyd died, to the continuing restrictions that we endure as a result of the health crisis. Yet, despite all of this, there still is a way to access a sense of trust and faith that all will be well. This is the hiding place of resilience and acceptance. I am deliberately drawing them out to show themselves and help me to create, in moments of worry or fear, and maintain this feeling of tranquility.
It reminds me of what Stephanie, our yoga instructor tells us. That if we take the time to pay attention to our breath we can connect with that sense of calm even in stressful times.