"He must become like unto the iron thrown within the furnace of fire. The qualities of iron, such as blackness, coldness and solidity which belong to the earth disappear and vanish while the characteristics of fire, such as redness, glowing and heat, which belong to the Kingdom become apparent and visible. Therefore, iron hath sacrificed its qualities and grades to the fire, acquiring the virtues of that element." ~ Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
I was reading this morning about trust and how that may manifest itself more readily in my life. Specifically, trusting in God. To me it seems such a vast chasm of darkness and uncertainty. This is what my limited mind has conjured up for the feelings of difficulty and uncertainty that surface. But in actual fact, it is the exact opposite. My mind has labeled and designed one view which helps to distort my entire approach. What is needed is to let go of the dreary image and visualise goodness and light. It perhaps is much more than a visualisation but it gave me the understanding that there is a requirement that I need to give something up to receive and accept something more important. It feels risky and frightening but I feel that it is meant to feel that way so that I will gather up the courage to proceed. As I contemplated these thoughts this morning, I had an opportunity to test the theory. I was locked out of my home. The keyless entry system would not release the door, or so I thought. I had left the house in a hurry to drop my son to school. I had not dressed for the weather as I knew I did not plan to be out of doors for any length of time, my car was deliciously warm toasty. When I arrived home I was faced with this door blockade. It would not budge and no matter what I tried on the keypad system it beeped at me angrily and performed sequences that I had not ever seen before. I called my husband to complain knowing that this would not solve anything but wasted energy in doing that anyway. Then I reached out to the landlord. I had some hesitation with this as I did not want to be a cause of bother. He is a busy contractor working on projects in far off places. I tried the door again but had no joy. I texted the landlord and received no reply for five minutes. I tried the door again. I then chose to call him directly, putting aside my fears and feelings of unworthiness. He picked up and said he would come over in twenty minutes. He was able to resolve the problem with the door and although it was simple for him, I knew that I would not have been able to get in without his help. The coldness and solidity that I needed to shed was my fears and the story of being unworthy. When I let myself listen and dwell in those thoughts I become paralysed and would probably still be outside not able to tell the tale here. It is the giving up of my preoccupation with myself that was needed. That is I think what the lesson is here for me to learn. If I desire to be of service to the world, I may let go of the constant worry of my own shortcomings, the looping records that say that Oonagh is not enough. [Funny sidebar story - when I type my name it auto corrects as enough - you think I would take the hint!] I know that these were set in my childhood and present now as a traumatic retention. Sacrifice calls me to heal these and stop carrying them around with me wherever I may go. It is an illusion that this retention is a vital part of me and therefore important. In actual fact it is a burden that slows me down and inhibits my way forward. Jumping into the fire is indeed a frightening prospect but when it purifies and reveals the essence of who I am, it releases the ability to see the world differently. And what a view it is!!
Comments