I posted a joke in a group chat yesterday that I thought was funny. However one of the chat participants was hurt by the joke and expressed their displeasure. This caused me to reflect on my actions and as I saw the joke through his eyes I could understand and accept what he was feeling. I must be honest here as my very first reaction was to raise my eyebrows quizzically and take offence at the comment made. There was much support for the joke as funny and clever but this one heart was feeling things differently. In times like these it is easy to absorb the offensive thoughts and draw upon the support that the majority of people had shared, opt for the divide and conquer approach and state that this person was overly sensitive and everyone else interpreted the joke in the way it was offered as light humour, but this would damage the delicate state of unity that we are striving to preserve in our group. This heart was seeking for that innate longing in all of us human beings, to have a sense of purpose and worth. What I chose to do was to acknowledge his feelings publicly in the chat thread, to share with honesty and humility that I had not considered the view he had shared of the joke and to ask for his forgiveness as it was not my intention to hurt anyone by sharing it. I did this because I was thinking of this dear soul in that moment and because if I was in the same situation I would want for someone to simply acknowledge my point of view and strive to raise the level of trust and peace in our relationship. As I read the elements of respect this morning, I see how very difficult it is to practice at all times. There was an errant side of me claiming that any response was unnecessary and that I should just not say anything, but there was a stronger voice in my head urging me onward. I know from this experience that practicing respect made an immediate difference as that heart responded to the courtesy of my words and in the subsequent reply I was able to discern that they felt seen and heard. We are all so exquisitely sensitive to the dictates of our delicate hearts. Respect is the vehicle through which I may operate to handle other's hearts with care.
To me there are two things at play here. Respect, yes, as you say, but also humility. It is such a hard lesson to learn - to acknowledge another's pain, especially when we have been the cause, and to make it right with an apology or atonement. It is more culturally accepted to sweep such daily differences under the rug but dealing with them with responsibility and humility will heal a relationship that otherwise might lose trust. It's hard to do but the rewards are so huge.