Actively isolating myself physically from others has opened up more space for my purification process to occur. I have been in constant contact with my family as we share the living space and much more face to face contact than we did prior to the onset of this pandemic. Naturally, there has been laughter, arguments and sorrow. It is a rollercoaster of emotions that some days leave me with whiplash as I strive to go with the flow. Clearing the negativity, that at times bubbles up, quickly, is what I have been striving to practice. To not let hurt feelings fester into resentment and estrangement. There has been ample time to practice this and learn how to better make amends, listen and struggle to understand the other person's perspective. It definitely feels like I am using a poker to prod all my vulnerable bits. It is surprising to me how there are instances when I do not want to let go of my negative feelings, deriving short lived comfort and soothing from holding on to these hot coals that only destroy the fabric of our life. I have noticed that it is only for a time and once I have mustered the courage to repair and rebuild unity there is a lighter more long lasting feeling that comes over all of us. Learning to let go and release my grip is the practice of purification, to grasp instead the good thoughts, kind words and deeds. The interconnectedness of my family in the home is so much more palpable to me these days. If one person is feeling sadness or anger it is felt by all. There is an eagerness to seek that person out and work through the emotions to restore balance to the home. When I am able to purify my intentions first then this does not seem such a formidable task. It is easy to simple write that sentence, but this process is where all the work on my character occurs. It can be painful, long and arduous but what emerges is freedom, and all impurities are released.
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