As I contemplate conversations and activities that I have planned today I am dwelling on the importance of my speech. It was not a surprise that the virtue of moderation appeared as a focus for today because what I utter and how I utter it is an area of my life where I require a strengthening of moderation. Yesterday in my family study group, at the very beginning, I challenged my father on a viewpoint that he held and expressed in a way that I felt was wrong. The two of us are highly skilled in the art of adversarial interaction and our relationship has had this as its main mode of operation. It is never productive and only escalates into saying something that I later bitterly regret. As this proceeded and the timbre of our voices rose, the rest of the family simply watched our interaction on zoom. One of my sons, who was present, sent me a private message through the chat feature. It simply said," You are very fiery today Mum!" It was the pause button I needed to reflect on how I wanted the rest of our study session to proceed. I took a long breath and allowed the tenseness of my body to abate. I listened to my father and let him express his point of view. I had completely lost sight of the fact that he is right from his frame of reference. Once he was finished I realised that I could share, gently and lovingly what I was feeling when I heard him make the reference he did. Surprisingly, as my tone sobered and my words developed a more gentle edge, he agreed. The study then continued and I noticed that he was a little subdued and I agonised about whether I was the cause. Later in the day I received a very thoughtful and loving message from him as he praised me for my humility. Our correspondence has not been of this nature, but lately I have noticed that we both have softened toward each other and are engaging our higher natures when we interact. This was a powerful lesson for me as speech is one of the most powerful forces that exist. How may my speech be a force for advancing the world and not present a cause of presenting myself as an obstacle to its good functioning? I know that for my words to exert influence on someone's delicate heart, I need to ensure that I am detached from any ulterior motive or strong emotions. It is a purification exercise that moderation calls me to elevate my speech in my encounters today. The art of persuasion is one that needs refining in my life. I will strive to remember that I must speak and act in such a way that others will want to listen.
How wonderful that, not only were you able to modify your argument but that he was able to hear you and acknowledge you for it. Looks like ma great direction for your relationship.