In the Baha'i calendar today is the first day of the month of Words [Kalimat]. I am choosing to be more considerate of the words (also tone) that I use. Having a kindly tongue can infuse words with meaning and with out it words become darts firing at people's hearts. Speech is one of the main ways we communicate with one another. In this time of short, abrupt emails, texts and tweets there seems to be precious little time to think about how what we type may land for those on the other end. I recently was in a texting war with one of my sons. It was like being attacked and trying to run for refuge but there was none - I was struck repeatedly and my body riddled and wounded. I was firing back desparately asking questions which just seemed to further fuel the onslaught. It was an exhausting morning and neither of us willing to back down, find middle ground or listen to the other's point of view. Despite the injuries we received we continued in offensive mode. What makes us injure each other like that? What happens to a relationship when it suffers such a vicious attack from both parties? Well, I retreated, keeping my opinionated position firmly in place. He called my husband and sobbed. Since then we have exchanged a couple of texts - hi, how are you? good, you? Good, it's raining here. Nothing of substance, we dance around our emotions and I am relegated to the sidelines while he discusses his feelings regularly with his Dad. On reflection, there are so many ways that that altercation could have gone very differently, in respect of the part I played. I see how my emotions got the better of me and ran, unbridled, with my words following closely behind. Never to return. Where was mindfulness in that moment? Buried by anger and self-righteousness. How could I have tapped into its unifying power in that moment? I wish I knew the answer... so I reflect on this experience and see how I need to strengthen mindfulness in my life, to make amends and go about the all important work of rebuilding trust and love.
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