One of the practices on this card is to treat others tenderly. It denotes no restrictions or caveats about how it is I may be treated, only that I should treat others tenderly. My mind jumps around to past times when people have said or done unkind things, does it relate to these times as well? My conscience shouts, "Of course it does!" Responding tenderly in these situations is something that I choose to work on. When things are said, I have an instinctive reaction. When I perceive a threat I resort to defend, protect my heart from being poked and prodded cruelly. It is in these moments that I need to say nothing, remain quiet and focus on detaching from the perceived attack. When I take the time to do this, and this is not a habitual practice but one that I long to steadily strengthen, I see that the comment was not even about me. My ego rushes in to get entangled and make it about me but largely it is not. It just feels like it is. A dear friend said to me once, that the spiritual laws are always on, they are like gravity, if we trip we fall. When I fail to treat myself or others with tenderness I fall spiritually and this upsets my own equilibrium. The challenge is to respond with mercy first, to make it my default position. Lots of practice required!
Not reacting from the gut but taking a moment to get a better perspective is something I work on constantly. It is hard work but it truly makes the quality of my life better.