I had been a person wary of surprises. They upset the natural rhythm of things for me bringing on the expression, by myself and others, of intense emotion that I had not prepared to face. I was clearly a product of my environment, blowing violently in the winds of everything that was happening to me, not taking time to cultivate a stronger sense of self to see these happenings as things I need not take in and allow to upset my own equilibrium. I believe I have developed a somewhat stronger sense of flexibility. It is such a necessary virtue to avoid these violent swings of emotions, to open my eyes to the reality that I cannot be in control of everything. It is a softening and acceptance to this life I get to live. Today in my life, difficulties remain, situations to resolve, injustices to overcome but with the assistance and power of prayer they are not weighing me down into the ground. Instead, as I have had time to consult with others they have released potential to act in new and surprising ways. By no means is the situation resolved, but there is power in knowing that fluctuating situations will continue to occur and in each one of these are hidden choices, challenges and opportunities. These winds of change really do strengthen my resolve and remind me that in this situation I am facing, I possess the necessary spiritual fortitude to get through it - otherwise it would not be presenting itself! It has occurred to me that flexibility strengthens when my heart is open, open to what may come and accepting the course of my life. When I resist, I cannot access the qualities I need to move with the adaptability that life demands. I am learning that this life calls for me to be in a constant state of growth and this means that I ought to expect and be prepared for change at every moment.
When we grow up in a chaotic, unpredictable environment we crave stability. This need for some control brings rigidity. It is a flaw I struggle with as well. I'm glad we are both making progress in that area.