I am feeling in between, in the middle between two homes as my family moves our home from one city to a smaller town. This is bringing up some grief for leaving a city we have called home for almost three years and mixed in with that excitement and trepidation about the new place, the town and meeting and making friends around us. The grief about leaving is simply an attachment to the material routine to which I have become accustomed, knowing the supermarkets and their routine and the ease of being near to a river with lovely walking trails. These things and more I find in the town where we are heading and I know I need time to make it my own and embrace it. The heart is attached to what it knows but there is beauty everywhere to which I may direct it. As I thought of all of this and sat with my melancholy mood, the appearance of faithfulness nudges me to gently accept the changes, to look for the confirmations that are cascading down, even as we move our belongings. One in particular is the time that I am getting to spend with my youngest son. As we pack up, move our belongings and consult about what should go where together, we have this precious time to bond. This is the period, at sixteen, where he is just coming out of the turbulent throes of adolescence and things are settling down. He never had a very disruptive time with puberty but there was a distance that I noticed which is natural. This move has gifted us with time to re-connect. Yesterday we drove as he regaled me about his math functions homework. Although what he was sharing, the equations, graphing and the reciprocal relationship, were far beyond the realm of my understanding, to listen to his enthusiasm, pure joy and frustration at striving to make sense of it all was just so wonderful. How he mentioned that his favourite colour has changed from green to red and so many other innocuous details that he spewed. I was able to see him as the wonderful human being he is, from a different perspective. He then connected with a friend we have in our new town and wouldn't you know, their interests in math and physics align. They were just delighted to engage each other in conversation and have decided to collaborate on a summer project. My often stoic, analytically minded and reserved child actually did a happy dance and talked about this project non-stop during the car ride. I have not come across theories about cultivating friendships with one's children but I am sure they are out there. This seems to be the season for us at the moment, the continued development of the parent-teenage child relationship that takes on aspects that are marvelous to explore. One of the practices of faithfulness is to cherish friendships and although on the first reading of this card my son did not come to mind, I see that this relationship, this emerging friendship is a precious treasure. It is this process of moving that has caused it to be revealed.
How wonderful that you've found this special time with your son. I remember car rides with mine, too, that were real heart-to-hearts. And now I try to cultivate that with my grandson who just turned eight. It feels so good when both of you are enjoying that connection.