"Our meaning is that qualities of the spirit are the basic and divine foundation, and adorn the true essence of man; and knowledge is the cause of human progress. The beloved of God must attach great importance to this matter, and carry it forward with enthusiasm and zeal." ~‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 137
In my virtues circle yesterday, I reflected on the numerous times I have started over, began again, reset to day 1 and proclaimed far and wide a do-over, only to have the wind slip from my sails and fall flat into the misery of exclaiming, 'what was I thinking'!. I then spiral into negativity among the jeers of the crowd in my head and am pelted by the rotten food they throw my way. It hurts and I feel brokenhearted when I fall. Each time the effort to get back up again seems exhausting and so very hard and difficult to achieve but here I am! In this new space there are cheers of encouragement but unlike the audience that is present when one is running a short sprint spanning only tens of seconds, this is more the crowd that you get along a marathon run - spread out and sparse in places, sections where there are just no bystanders at all. Today I hear the cheer of the lone voice yelling, 'go on, you can do it, you have what it takes!' Life is a marathon, one whose end no one knows. It only requires me to get up and keep moving forward in the direction of the finish line. What direction might that be? Well this is where it gets interesting. I am sure I have lost my way many times but when I take the time to practice my virtues, those spiritual qualities that reside inside, I am always going the right way. Today feels like I have found the path again, enthusiasm illuminates the way. There is a saying in bright line eating when one has gone astray that "one is in the ditch". Funny thing about ditches is that they run parallel to the road and when you find yourself down in one of them, dirty and hurting, you are only a few feet away from the road. I have crawled and climbed and fought my way out. The view from here is great, I am exhausted but it is the kind that comes from doing something worthwhile. The good hurt of muscles you have awakened after a period of no exercise. I caution myself not to ruin my efforts with grandiose plans and lofty goals that only serve to dampen my spirits because they are very far away. Getting through the day is my focus. I am keeping it simple, languishing in the site of the road and new found strength in my legs. It is not time to run yet but to regain lost strength. As I cast an eye toward the ditch I am humbled by the fact that its depth was of my own making.