In this morning's reflection, I took the time to recall the goals I have for myself during this phase of renewal. This is the term that I wish to characterise these precious moments of observing the blurry edges of my vision recede, enjoying intellectual clarity and an unbounded access to joy. I had thought that I was at the end of my autumn phase and sliding into the cozy cocoon of winter but this cycle seems to be longer that the previous two, elongating summer and thereby bringing more days of warm genuine smiles, a desire to be more social and emerge from the comfort of my shelter to explore the great outdoors and expand my friendship base. I have re-connected with two friends over the past few days and diligence encourages me to strive to be a better friend, keep in closer touch, place myself in positions to listen to their concerns and worries and simply be present. In the Baha'i Writings the metaphor of gardening is often used to bring to life the necessary elements of diligence. Our relationships need this systematic attentive action to thrive and grow verdant and abundant. I have tried to literally grow a garden many times in the past and have experienced some glimmers of success but often end up discouraged because I was not vigilant to the needs of the plants I wanted to grow. I became tired and disinterested in the laborious work of constantly watering and discouraged by the speed at which weeds grew! The work was hard and although I tried to encourage other members of my family to assist me, they looked on in amusement at my projects. Consequently the task of cultivating a large garden became a burden, one which I bitterly resented. With this experience under my belt I am resolved to renew my approach building friendships and more tentatively gardening too. Small thoughtful gestures and allocation of time is what is called for so that I may freely give my commitment, joy, love and excellence to keep them strong and alive. This same strategy may be employed with, for instance, my desperate desire to detach from negative thoughts, whose seeds are often planted by my own self-talk or offhand comments made by others. I am my thoughts and when they ruminate and fester I create my own dark cavern of self loathing and despair. How do I replace that thought of hatred with a stronger thought of love? By planting a seed of comfort and renewal! It takes one positive thought followed by a small action to change my insistent mind. I need not strive for grandiosity. I am willing to give it a try and be more meticulous in my approach. I was gifted with a beautiful prayer book yesterday, entitled "Healing the Soul". It is composed of prayers and readings divided into two categories; one for comforting sorrow the other for renewal. I now have a tool through which I may deliberately plant seeds of diligence and watch them grow into fruitful trees.
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