I am back from a sojourn in the darkness of a cave. It felt at times safe and secure as I wallowed in a space designed only for me and by me. It was completely self serving and, after a while became lonely. I look back and see signs of the slide, the apparent over confidence and heedlessness to boundaries I previously constructed for protection and refuge. As I chipped away at them they eventually gave way and I crumbled. Now is the time for a rebuild, reading the reality as it is and constructing a framework that is sustainable. My purpose remains the same and along the way on this most recent phase of the journey, the practice of diligence waned. I began to work less meticulously, listening to doubts and allowing myself to be persuaded by those whose purpose differed from my own. My life frequently passes through adversities and oppression that seem bent on my destruction. I dealt with this by withdrawing but not toward the necessary inner work that beckoned. The hidden benefits of trials and tribulation help build the exact inner strengths I must develop to bring back a healthy balance. The building began before the fall so I need not cower and hide because this wound brings knowledge of its own cure hidden within it.
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