When I have allowed the incessant stain of racism and behaviours associated with that mindset, of others and my own, to shape who I am, my dignity feels inaccessible, as though it has been shattered and lies in pieces on the floor. What I have learned over time and with the aid of many varied experiences, is that I have the power and innate ability to reassemble these pieces into a wonderful sculpture. Any chink in my frame of dignity hurts and leaves me feeling unmoored. I have come to believe that my dignity is not in fact in pieces at these times, it just feels that way. My dignity may get bruised and battered but it never breaks. It is stronger than I know. My nobility is something that remains constant in my life. When I take in the comments or actions of others, or abase myself trying to be something I am not, I diminish the light of my nobility. It still shines, it always shines constantly. What it is is that I have taken steps to conceal the intensity of its brightness. I may save myself the pain of feeling broken by remembering that when I actively and intentionally practice dignity and resist the pull of the dissenting voices in my head, I claim my worth. It is really up to me in the face of whatever may be occurring, to make the decision to walk tall. Yes it takes effort and fierce exertion at times, but the choice is always mine and this is something no one can take away from me.
What you say about dignity resonates with me, too. I am learning, (too slowly) that my true worth lies within myself and that the words and actions of others in no way affects my true value. I've spent most of my life sorting truth from falseness in order to keep my God-given dignity and worth from being undermined both by the "stings and arrows" from others and from my own lack of capacity to discern the differences.