Whoso is endued with courtesy hath indeed attained a sublime station. ~– Baha’u’llah, Tablets of Baha’u’llah, p. 88.
My parents were very attentive to my developing courtesy. It was mandatory to say please and thank you and greet family members, friends, neighbours and strangers with a good morning, good afternoon or good evening. If one failed to do this then a barrage of disparaging remarks and scornful expressions were cast my way. I learned early on to say the right thing but there was no courtesy behind my going through the motions. It was not until later on in life when we moved to the United Kingdom that I began to value the importance of showing people courtesy. In a society that did not hold the same requirements as I had learned when I greeted people instinctively or thanked the bus driver, their faces lit up and softened. This reaction always made me feel warm inside that I had brought a little glimmer of joy to someone else's day. It made me want to do it more and eventually it became a habit of my interactions. Where I struggle a little is when I encounter rudeness or incivility and I am paralysed because it was unexpected. It takes adjusting for me to sort out what must I have done to deserve such a reaction. In developing more mature thinking, I now know that another person's unkind words are a reflection of themselves and have nothing to do with who I am or what I have or have not done. What I have realised is that these people really need my courtesy at these times more than ever. They are crying out to feel love and affection right at that moment. I may then be the channel through which this love may be conveyed. My wounded child says that they do not deserve my love but instead should receive my hostility and hatred. But what would that serve but to share negative energy far and wide. To have the power to stop it and instead choose to share positivity, to disrupt the system and inject something new, wonderful and different. It matters not what the reaction is but only that I know it will result in that warm glow, deep within myself that results in a beautiful smile. A smile that I am told makes others feel warmth and love. I believe this is what is meant by a"sublime station" That is what matters!
Yes, and your smile lights up any room.