I am plagued by a tendency to control, a coping mechanism acquired in my childhood and I guess modeled for me in my family's culture. I am learning to release my grip on my need to control a situation or a conversation and relax into letting things be as they are, wanting to instead to elevate the importance of connecting with others. This insecurity I harbour may stem from feeling helpless about so many things but it falls short in justifying its perpetuation. It is a barrier to cultivating unity in my relationships and as that is the standard I set for myself, I am on a mission to supplant and strengthen virtues. Courtesy reminds me to paint my speech - my tone and my words - with kindness and love. I easily get excited, exuberant and enthusiastic in conversations, words tumbling out before I have even given thought to them. When passionate about something I seek to persuade and convince others of its truth, which is just another way of demonstrating the need to be right. How do I temper this, remembering first to consider the effect my speech will have on hearts? How do I learn to pause and say nothing first, when something that arouses a sense of excitement within me is shared? I have thought about a few strategies that I may bring to bear on this learning process. I could take a closer look at my behaviour each day and ask the question; was I courteous today? I could role play what I could have said or how I could have maintained my silence. Then I could seek out scenarios to consciously practice courtesy, thinking about folks who I may encounter that day and visualising ways that I may respond or maintain silence. Most importantly I will pray for assistance to help me to grow in courtesy and be more attentive to what a cherished soul is saying, searching for ways to connect with them more deeply.
You must be doing a good job because I have seen no hint of controlling behaviours. On another note - this is my biggest challenge, too.