It is so interesting that commitment has appeared this morning. Yesterday evening as I was reflecting on my day, I was feeling overwhelmed with the many things I had planned for this week. My calendar felt full and I was intensely feeling the scarcity of time, which was bringing about fear. Fear of mental exhaustion and the collapse that has me picking up vices I wish to avoid. I mentioned it to a friend and she suggested that I should take time and schedule blank time in my calendar, time just for me that I will see as blocked out, before I go and schedule another activity. This appealed to my sense of organisation. I immediately set about doing this scheduling time a fortnight into the future. I got a little carried away that I went to bed later than I intended and did not have a restful night. Thoughts about the conviction I was bringing to some of the activities that I have committed to, plagued me. Have I made the right decision in agreeing to work with this organisation? Is it constructive use of my time and energy in striving to bring about change in the community? These were the questions that I had and although I do not have the definitive answer to them yet, I have made a commitment to them. I am reminded that I must honour that pledge and do my very best, even when things seem difficult and unclear. I have experienced, that it is often the doing of a chore or responsibility that then reveals its value. I will remain open that the answers to my questions may well emerge as I do what it is I have agreed to do and be attentive to discern the signs along the way. After all keeping one's word is the right thing to do and this is what feeds my soul, providing the mental energy and strength to go the distance. As I have been writing this I have felt the effects of the gift I have been given in the form of commitment. A strength of purpose, a blooming of integrity and so, I rise.
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