With the ease of meeting on zoom and the sheer volume of workshops, courses and summits available, it is very easy to fill up a day. I have found that I have been inadvertently double booking meetings. There seems to be so much to do! Cleaning up these mistakes was a task that appeared for me this morning. It is easy to just find an excuse to distance myself from and shirk what is my responsibility. This I chose not to do, but to own up to my mistake with honesty and humility. Again the universe knows what virtue is needed to be able to move through this day with ease. As I think about more of the aspects of cleanliness, what comes up for me is the aspect of keeping my spirit clean. I have an upcoming meeting about future work, work that I love to do, but turned out to be something other than what I was expecting. I have an opportunity to openly consult with the powers that be and make the request to do the work that I would like to do, and that is so desperately needed in this organisation. What is cleansing about this is that if this is not an option for them then we may amicably part ways so they may find a person that may fill the role and responsibilities in the manner that is in keeping with their vision. I have no attachment either way. Releasing attachments is a focus for me today. I was reading an article about giving up the need to be right. This is often something that raises its very insistent head in most of my interactions. When I cling to being right the conversation may take a turn that often does not find its way toward that precious point of unity, that we all seek. This is the clear path, but how often I chose the one that is littered with the debris of my ego. I get tangled up in justifying and reasserting my position, closely followed by strong emotional feelings and resulting behaviour. Thereby, creating a whole heap of dirt and dust on my heart that requires some serious deep cleaning. I am finding that if I take the time to release my grip on the ensuring preconceptions, that are often incorrect and misguided, I may avoid this oh to familiar trap. I am striving to learn how it is I may maintain more of an openness in conversations, focusing more on listening to all that is being said, discerning what is not being said and being truly engaged with those who are longing to communicate. As I strive to make this more of a feature of conversing, I will need to be gentle with myself because I may resort to my default habit which is simply a feature of the learning process. Recognising this, I may bring on the forgiveness that is needed to clean up my mistakes and have the resolve to try again. The thing about dirt is that it often appears when you stop cleaning. I will strive to be more systematic in the cleaning and resort to do it daily.
You are too hard on yourself. You have two big stressors that will cause some distractibility - Covid and moving. Hugs.