It has been several days since I have poured my heart out here and I am poised and ready to return to this space of solitude and introspection. It is an act of caring for myself to let my fingers fly about the keyboard and translate my thoughts into a blog post. I have not quite found the words to adequately describe the space I have been moving through but suffice it to say that it has been dark with glimmerings of light and hope. My head remains heavy with remnants of a dark cloud partially obscuring my thinking, it also hurts as I consider letting go of my hold on the flour and sugar consumption that serves only to ensure that I remain in a state of inactivity and lethargy. This task of creating this blog today enables me to practice caring for myself. Despite all the darkness that has shrouded me over the past several weeks there has been a bright red spot that I wish to share. I had a consultation with a friend about menstrual cycles and how the power within me may be effectively released once I synchronise with my own unique internal cycle of seasons. This information blew my mind and I set about gorging on all the information I could find that helped to advance my understanding and help me to glide gently into the next phase of my womanhood: menopause. I came away from all of this information with a distinct sense of how I may better organise my time, my activities and balance my emotions. It is possible and realistic that I could avoid and learn to better navigate through my quarterly dips in energy, enthusiasm and outright heedlessness that overcomes me after several months of maintaining a healthy eating regime. I had never factored my cycle into this equation before and as such I now realise that I was missing a very important piece of the puzzle. So I am tracking my energy level, my emotions and overall wellbeing over the course of this current cycle and from this I know I will glean insights into the natural ebb and flow of my inner rhythm. It is a reflection that is opening my eyes to a wider range of possibilities. In this way I am expressing and learning to love myself thereby giving me access to my entire potential to care for others.
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