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Writer's pictureOonagh

Assertiveness


guarding my dignity

Day 9 of the Fast

When assertiveness appeared as a virtue this morning, I felt a shrinking sensation. I questioned whether the elements of this virtue can ever be realised by me. It has such strength and presence that I wondered whether it would manifest in me. I read the card over and over and began to write about past experiences where I was lacking in assertiveness, but the words were not flowing to allow me to understand more deeply the importance of its practices. Then I was sent an article about indigenous women that moved me to want to reach out and offer service in some way, but how? I then realised I could ask friends who had connections to neighbouring communities and see if I could join them to find a way in which I may be helpful. In sending out the messages, many possibilities have emerged and a new friendship arose to be nurtured. Additionally, I was feeling a little adrift with the material in a workshop that I recently attended. I have been stewing as to how it is I will be able to adequately lead others through material I had not grasped competently myself. I reached out to my fellow study buddy and asked for help. As I sit here writing these musings, I see how the appearance of assertiveness has guided my actions. It is not the fierce authority or commanding presence that I often think it embodies but it moves through me more peacefully, in the making of simple positive requests and leaning into the dignity of knowing and honouring who I am. It has a subtle energy that is warming and comforting, gently and lovingly encouraging me to display my talents. It softens the discomfort of moving beyond complacency. It offers me a view of the power latent within me. It is that quiet light of confidence which I may nurture to become a more potent flame.

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