Appreciation

"I yield Thee such thanks as can blot out from the hearts of men all suggestions of limitations, and inscribe the signs of Thy unity." ~Bahá’u’lláh, Prayers and Meditations by Bahá’u’lláh, p. 332

honouring my own progress

I have been consciously cultivating a practice of gratitude and thankfulness by journaling at the end of the day about those things that made me smile. I like doing this as it has the effect of recreating the positive feelings I had at those points in the day and I remember that life has so much to offer. So how I wonder does appreciation differ from this? I believe it embodies many of the same elements as thankfulness and gratitude leaving me with the ability to see the good in so many things. There is one line on the card that gave me a moment of pause, "As we do the spiritual work life calls us to do, it is important to appreciate our own efforts and to acknowledge our progress." I am acutely aware of those times when I make mistakes and call myself to account wishing I have the emotional fortitude to think, be and do better; but what of those times when I make progress, I respond kindly, love unconditionally and open my heart? This is the attention that the latest focus on my inner work requires. I have cause to reflect on an incident earlier this morning. I have a client who comments on the cost of my coaching when it comes time to renew. I listened as they compared my price to other therapists. Conversations around money are so uncomfortable and leave me longing for a shower afterward. Today however, I breathed, thought about how I do this because I want to coach and share the virtues with others, not because I have to. I asked the client what they thought of working with me, why they wished to continue with me? I did this not to fish for compliments but really to let them hear their own thoughts. I have my own style and way of going about coaching that does not look like anyone else's, it is uniquely what I bring to the table. It cannot be duplicated and I choose to share it with others. It is an amalgamation of my own learning and the work that I have had the courage to undertake. It weaves in the struggles I have in understanding the Baha'i teachings and putting that understanding into action. I have this to give and I am not an expert at putting a price on it. I did not share this with my client but simply let them consider their own why! In the past I would have jumped on the defensive path and tried to justify my worth but that exercise, I realise, is really unnecessary if I do not believe that I am worthy in the first place. In the moment, I said little and then let the client make their own decision. It is neither good nor bad if they discontinue with me, it is simply what is. Today I am content with not having to rely on others to validate my worth.