My living situation has not been a source of stability for the past year. My family has been very fortunate to have been given a very generous offer back in 2019 and have very much enjoyed the process of creating a home. Inevitable changes are now upon us and we face a decision as to whether we stay or look elsewhere for accommodation. Our landlord placed two options before us and only one was really feasible for us to consider and that was, regrettably, having to find another place to call home. The upheaval and stress this has created is not welcome in many ways but when I reflect on the possibilities, it opens up so many new opportunities that are easy to miss when I am dwelling on my emotional and physical attachment to where I currently am. I outlined to my husband that I would like to try to approach this with first taking a pause. To not rush frenetically around trying to create a menu of options but to sit with it and see what comes up. This was not exactly my approach as I could not resist the frenetic energy that was bubbling up and he anxiously went out in search of possibilities. I am grateful for his care of our family's wellbeing and need to seek out security quickly. He is extremely good at ferreting out possibilities. We need to make a decision in the next couple of days and we do not have the luxury of time to contemplate things for too long, so his approach was also very wise. Yesterday a very feasible offer emerged. It means leaving our dear city but not moving too far away. This morning, I offered up fervent prayers for clarity as to whether to accept this possibility or not. Then I asked the question again before my virtues pick and acceptance appeared. There is a side of me that seeks absolute certainty, wants to know that all will work out well and it will prove to be what is best for our family! These thoughts are futile and require a prediction into the future that is simply just not possible. These thoughts originate from my saboteur mode of operating in fear. Fear of failing, or not liking the town we move to, or not liking the house we commit to live in, and on and on... What if I, instead, choose love? I open myself up to practicing acceptance by embracing what is and not wishing something was different. I can trust that there is good in this entire experience and the future of moving to a new area, the bounty of making new friends and the process of making another house a home. What I do know for sure is that with unity of thought in our family, a common vision about our goals and cooperation to make this situation work, necessary ingredients toward our collective happiness and wellbeing, this will be a success. I wholeheartedly accept that there will be a myriad of tests to surmount and knowing this going in, makes navigating them much easier. I am, therefore, embracing the future with new wisdom and awareness.
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