My family is made from many different and varied material. The author, Mitch Albom says families are like pieces of art. I like this analogy as it is so very true for me. I used to feel like I didn't belong in the circles of other Mums who were growing a family the conventional way. The patchwork quilt my husband and I were nurturing did not look like the others and always required explanation. When we married he brought with him two delightful five and six year old boys and I contributed a precocious four year old boy. It was an instant family that took a lot of emotional and physical energy. Building unity among us took effort often beyond the patience I had. Not to mention the interactions that persist with former spouses as we all struggled to learn to communicate for the betterment of the children involved, even though perhaps we were unaware that this was our mission. Striving to put our egos aside and leave the baggage of a failed relationship out of the business of raising children. Within three years of marriage we added two more boys to the mix and I began to feel more comfortable referring to us as a blended family. Sometimes when we were out in the world in various configurations that having a family this size allows, people would question when I would say these are my sons. I didn't look like the older two so would have to explain our blended nature. It took time to open my heart to them. But once opened it could never be closed off although I attempted to do so as circumstances led to remoteness and often loss of their presence. Despite all of this, today we call ourselves a family and each of the boys refer to each other as brothers. We have mixed together, like a cake mix that needs more mixing, and melded into what is a family. There is us. Yesterday we welcomed the first grand child, another boy to the fold. Love is welcoming him into this space where he belongs, to add his own version of uniqueness. To learn what it means to accept and appreciate everyone. Perhaps that was the lesson in this ongoing parenting experience for me, to see no differences only to love.
Beautifully written, your writing gives clarity.