Day 16 of the Fast
I continue to explore the ways in which I may keep my heart open. Today, I read about ways to help me cleanse my heart of attachments. I took an honest look at my attachments this morning and what came up surprised me. I am attached to being thin. I could blame the environment that I was born into and the media for its preoccupation with the shapes and sizes of women's bodies, but I need to take responsibility for my own participation and confirmation of these sentiments. I see how it has guided my thoughts, actions and keeps me tethered to feeling unhappy. When these thoughts are the dominant focus of my mind, my heart is covered with dust and is unable to mirror forth spiritual qualities. When I reflect on past years, I see how these thoughts have restricted my behaviour. When I approach life with this singular frame of reference, I am missing the opportunity to live my life to the fullest today, waiting for the when and if to be happy. What would life look like for me if I were to release this attachment? This is where I get to look to the future with trust and faith. The practices of hope guide me. It will not be easy to let this one go as it is so deeply entrenched in my mind, but I know that in expressing it to myself now, I have given myself a focus for the year ahead and one that I may call on courage to pursue. I know that I have a network of family and friends that will be able to help me with this when I ask it of them. The question then is what does that help look like? I am currently part of a community that is preoccupied with its weight. I see how this keeps it as a focus and anchoring thought in my mind. I love the friends and people that I have met and want to maintain these connections. However, I will need to assess what it is I am ingesting that may keep me imprisoned in the confines of these limiting thoughts and reduce my consumption. This card reminds me that to hope is to value all of my life. I need not confine myself to only one aspect of it. I may instead open myself up to the beauty and abundance of it all.
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